A friend of mine committed suicide a couple of days ago. He must have come to the place of believing that this dark act was his best way out of his financial problems. The final lie he believed was that it made sense to implement a permanent solution to a temporary problem. He left behind a large family and literally hundreds of people who would have considered it a blessing to help him.
You might be able to understand how this could happen for someone whose life was a complete shambles and doesn’t have God in their life. My friend however, was one of the most involved and engaged Christian men on our community with many loving relationships. Your first thought might be to doubt the authenticity of His faith. God is clear that we do not know nor is it our place to judge the hearts of other people. If that is off limits then how are we to understand how this could happen.
We learn from the story of King David that when the Amalikites took everything and his men wanted to kill him that authentic Christians can experience despair. Instead of the despair being allowed to bring destruction in David’s life or dishonor to God the story reveals how David strengthened himself in God. From the psalms you can get a sense that the way he did this was to proclaim the truth of the awesome magnificence of God and to thank Him for how trustworthy He had been throughout His life, and the acceptance and belief in His promises, including David’s anointing to be king of Israel.
Once strengthened, David inquired of the Lord for guidance for how to deal with the situation. No longer in despair he turned to God for answers as to what to do. The result was that David regained all that was taken plus more and David became king of Israel very soon thereafter. In comparing the two situations of King David and my friend you can see that one reached out for strength before trying to figure out what to do and the other made a decision out of a heart full of isolation and hopelessness.
Jesus and God live in us through the presence of the Holy Spirit. We never need to be alone or in despair because God is one thought away and His promises are real. I have two Christian clients that admitted in just this last week that suicide had been on their mind. One told me that she overcame those thoughts by connecting with God every day by inviting Him into her thinking and proclaiming her trust in Him. The other who called me in a moment of wanting to kill himself from his deep despair about the condition of his life, admitted he had not even thought to engage God and rarely did so for any reason.
When we are in desperation we are in a place of fear. In this emotion from hell we are open to the lies of the enemy that are intended to kill, steal and destroy. God does not intend for you to take on these intense and powerful emotions on your own. When we do so we are in a pride-induced delusional state of self-sufficiency. I beg you to not fall for the plans of the enemy in any aspect of your life but instead to engage the author of life and victory in a conversation of strength and clarity in moments of despair and uncertainty. There is very real danger in doing otherwise. Remember He is one thought/prayer away.