Comfort in Crisis

29-Minute Episode


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Author’s Note

When loved ones are in crisis or respond to life circumstances with anxiety, fear or panic, the desire to comfort and alleviate their suffering presents challenges.

The first step to help them is strengthening yourself in the Lord, so you can provide “Comfort in Crisis” to others in the midst of their storm. Last week’s podcast, “God is Just One Thought Away” is the first in this 2-part series and lays the foundation for the deeper place of peace that you want to impart to others.

Today we’re responding to client-provided topics of a spouse with panic attacks, a child with anxiety from a car accident, and family members in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Each of these situations is too big for a person to bring lasting peace, but not beyond God’s ability to provide the peace that surpasses understanding.

Join us in the closing prayer to enable God’s peace to invade your heart and spill over for your loved ones.


We sincerely hope that these resources will be encouraging and edifying to you.

In His Rest,

John Murphy

  • 00:00:00 John Murphy

    This is the Rock House Center podcast and I'm.

    00:00:02 Beth Murphy

    BethJohn Murphy and I'm Beth Murphy and our podcast today is called Comfort in Crisis.

    00:00:06 Beth Murphy

    It's actually the second part of a two part series that we began last week entitled God is always just one thought away.

    00:00:15 Beth Murphy

    This all came about as a result of questions that came in from listeners when we invited questions or topics.

    00:00:21 Beth Murphy

    Suggestions for podcasts?

    00:00:23 Beth Murphy

    It was a cluster of things that all fit into the same category where loved ones are experiencing worry, panic or fear.

    00:00:31 Beth Murphy

    And the person questioning us is looking at how do they comfort them?

    00:00:36 Beth Murphy

    How do they help them?

    00:00:37 Beth Murphy

    And so in one case it was parents and family members who live in a part of the world where they have earthquakes and they'd experienced one, and we're having the aftershocks of those earthquakes and we're having their own worry.

    00:00:51 Beth Murphy

    Fear panic about that.

    00:00:53 Beth Murphy

    And then one with a spouse that was having panic attack and a child who had been in a car accident and was very fearful about ever getting back in a car and resistant to getting back in a car.

    00:01:04 Beth Murphy

    So each of those situations is where the person is in the role of trying to comfort someone else about their difficult life situation.

    00:01:13 Beth Murphy

    And the thing with their ex.

    00:01:14 Beth Murphy

    Parenting in sort of a crisis.

    00:01:16 Beth Murphy

    Panic mode.

    00:01:17 John Murphy

    Yes, and so the situation of course, is that we want to work on the condition of our own heart.

    00:01:22 John Murphy

    The person is trying to bring help obviously is going to be more effective at that to the extent that they have peace themselves, and that's really what we talk about in the God is just one thought away.

    00:01:31 John Murphy

    Podcast is how do people bring God into the context of the moment and to have the peace that they need to have?

    00:01:38 John Murphy

    We have panic then we are only going to be able to offer panic in our role as a comforter, so it's really critical that we deal with that.

    00:01:45 John Murphy

    Another common belief is that if we just share a common struggle that that's a way to help someone through.

    00:01:52 John Murphy

    A situation, and that's not a bad thing in having community and being able to have empathy for someone because you've been through the same thing is obviously positive, but the most powerful thing that we can bring is the additional piece of and I have a testimony of how God resolved it, so we always want to bring in God as the ultimate answer.

    00:02:10 John Murphy

    I think that a shared experience.

    00:02:12 John Murphy

    Shows that we would have empathy in the in the person situation when that's possible, but the most critical piece is to be able to bring God as the ultimate answer, so having a testimony of how he is resolved at how he's redeemed a situation obviously puts us in a better position as well.

    00:02:29 Beth Murphy

    So the strength of testimony of the person in this role of trying to comfort is really important, so it starts with having their own peace about the situation, not being dragged into the worry, fear, panic that their loved ones are experiencing.

    00:02:44 Beth Murphy

    So if you look at this particular situation, each person is in a really pivotal.

    00:02:49 Beth Murphy

    On a roll, it's their parents and family members.

    00:02:52 Beth Murphy

    In the case of the earthquakes, it's their spouse who's having a panic attack.

    00:02:57 Beth Murphy

    And it's their child who's so worried about not getting back in a car because of a prior car accident, and so taking the child one particularly because children are so susceptible they're so responsive to a parent because of the role of a parent.

    00:03:15 Beth Murphy

    So when the parent is not dismissing their feelings.

    00:03:18 Beth Murphy

    But addressing their feelings and part of the way they address their feelings, is the reassurance and comfort of seeing that mom or dad.

    00:03:26 Beth Murphy

    Isn't themselves worried about getting in the car or having worry and fear about car accidents and then communicating that?

    00:03:34 Beth Murphy

    The reason is that whatever happens in a car, that God is faithful, God is going to get us through this.

    00:03:39 Beth Murphy

    He's going to take care of whatever situation comes, and that the the place of peace in life comes from.

    00:03:46 Beth Murphy

    Relying on God and of course it's the same thing for spouse and parents, but it's most evident with the.

    00:03:52 Beth Murphy

    Child and children again are most responsive and susceptible to whichever direction, whichever way a parent is living.

    00:04:00 Beth Murphy

    If the parent is living in panic, worry, or fear, than the child is going to as well, because it's been modeled to them that that's what their parent does.

    00:04:08 Beth Murphy

    So the God of their youth is resorting to panic or fear and the child.

    00:04:12 Beth Murphy

    Going to do the same thing, but if their parent, the person representing God to them, is able to be peaceful and model peace and model that got us trustworthy, then the child just absorbs that and lives in that place.

    00:04:27 Beth Murphy

    And then spouse and parents are going to be also positively affected by our testimony of our piece, and so that's why we started out with God is always just one thought away.

    00:04:38 Beth Murphy

    Last week it's because the importance of the person in the role of where they're trying to.

    00:04:42 Beth Murphy

    Is to get their own comfort from God directly with him as our comforter, so that they have something to pass on to the person that they're trying to help.

    00:04:53 John Murphy

    And of course, we're in the situation with them.

    00:04:55 John Murphy

    If we want to be loving them through it, we want to stay present in the situation.

    00:04:59 John Murphy

    Then we'd want to just make sure that we're always pointing to God as the answer.

    00:05:04 John Murphy

    If ever we find ourselves trying to rescue them or be the white knight in this situation, then we're taking on really a role that they'd need God to have to take on, because God is really going to have the answer because a lot of these situations, particularly some of the ones we mentioned.

    00:05:19 John Murphy

    Here these are bigger than we are.

    00:05:21 John Murphy

    They're not bigger than God is, but they're definitely bigger than we are.

    00:05:24 John Murphy

    We really don't have any way to solve these problems, and to the extent that we know that about ourselves and our own situations in life, then we can confidently communicate that the common thing of all suffering is that for really to have peace and to get to the other side of it.

    00:05:38 John Murphy

    That's going to come only from the degree that which we have relied on God.

    00:05:42 John Murphy

    So loving them through it staying present.

    00:05:44 John Murphy

    Certainly resolving are being available to satisfy any needs they have.

    00:05:49 John Murphy

    I mean if they are, you know someone was around a crisis of hunger or crisis of shelter or crisis.

    00:05:53 John Murphy

    Of drowning in a river.

    00:05:55 John Murphy

    You know you can throw them the lifejacket.

    00:05:57 John Murphy

    You're there.

    00:05:58 John Murphy

    We're not saying we ignore that ability to respond and comfort and beat a safety net.

    00:06:02 John Murphy

    For people, but the ultimate sense of peace about it, and the ultimate resolution and the ultimate sense of that, there is comfort in the future that God is with them that can really only come from God, and we do have the opportunity to help people bring God into the context of whatever their suffering is.

    00:06:19 Beth Murphy

    One of the things that deepens the problem is the lie that we're experiencing these things all alone, and it's all up to me, really can lead to despair and helplessness.

    00:06:30 Beth Murphy

    So there's a real positive aspect that the person is connecting with.

    00:06:34 Beth Murphy

    You to get some help and not stay in isolation, so that's good, but we want to recognize that we don't want to cross the line because their real peace again is going to come from recognizing that God is going to ultimately resolve this and bring them the comfort and the peace that they need.

    00:06:51 Beth Murphy

    So we want to celebrate that they're not staying in isolation.

    00:06:55 Beth Murphy

    And the importance of the relational component here.

    00:06:58 Beth Murphy

    But knowing that our real role is to facilitate their connection to God, facilitate their trust in God.

    00:07:04 Beth Murphy

    Bringing God into the the context of their distress, because that is ultimately where the true and lasting peace comes from.

    00:07:12 John Murphy

    Yeah, I think the big reminder is that God is on board and that's a perpetual declaration of God.

    00:07:17 John Murphy

    He says that we are the permanent dwelling place, no matter how it may feel he is present within each of us through the Holy Spirit.

    00:07:26 John Murphy

    Now we have through our control or through our fear or whatever.

    00:07:30 John Murphy

    We have the ability to kind of push him out of our consciousness.

    00:07:33 John Murphy

    And I think about him and I think he's available.

    00:07:35 John Murphy

    But one of the key things that we need to communicate if we're going to comfort somebody that no matter how it feels right now, God is on board.

    00:07:42 John Murphy

    God is one thought away.

    00:07:44 John Murphy

    He is available and if you need some more information about that or more of a sense of that, please do listen to the previous podcasts.

    00:07:50 John Murphy

    If God is just one thought away 'cause we really dig into all of the biblical truth that established.

    00:07:55 Beth Murphy

    Is that fact so the important?

    00:07:57 Beth Murphy

    Distinction here an aspect of what we're saying is that we want to recognize that we don't want to become an enabler for someone to not go to God.

    00:08:05

    Right?

    00:08:05 Beth Murphy

    We don't want to put ourselves in the God.

    00:08:07 Beth Murphy

    Role and then leave them with a dependency on us because at some point we're not going to be there.

    00:08:14 Beth Murphy

    We're going to make a mistake.

    00:08:15 Beth Murphy

    We're going to tell them the wrong thing.

    00:08:16 Beth Murphy

    We're going to disappoint them, and ultimately, we're not God, no matter what.

    00:08:20 Beth Murphy

    A good job we can do, and befriending them, helping them comforting them.

    00:08:25 Beth Murphy

    We've not done them any favors.

    00:08:27 Beth Murphy

    If we step between them and their ability to trust God, now we're just enabling them ultimately, to stay in a place of.

    00:08:35 Beth Murphy

    Of fear, despair, helplessness when the next crisis comes along and the next challenge or trial comes along.

    00:08:41 Beth Murphy

    So we just want to recognize the importance of befriending them, loving them, directing and comforting them.

    00:08:49 Beth Murphy

    But knowing that the bottom line here is, we want to direct them to God through our own connection with God.

    00:08:55 Beth Murphy

    And our own ability to tell.

    00:08:56 Beth Murphy

    Testify to his faithfulness, his love, his comfort, and him ultimately being the answer.

    00:09:02 John Murphy

    I think the one thing that really helps there is just praying to roll the burden of the person situation onto God shoulders and to make sure that we leave it there.

    00:09:11 John Murphy

    That's just a really important piece as we want to come in and we want to help and we want that to be the answer we want to comfort this person that we obviously care tremendous amount about.

    00:09:21 John Murphy

    But when we let go of the burden of doing the thing that only God can do, we'll have the clarity to be able to be led by God to do whatever our role is in the moment and to and to bring him in in whatever way that we can.

    00:09:33 John Murphy

    That's helpful to the person who is struggling at the time.

    00:09:36 Beth Murphy

    So a leading indicator for me if I've begun to take on someone else's burden is that I'm laying awake at night, processing through it, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to solve it for them or.

    00:09:47 Beth Murphy

    Anything that goes on our own little worry treadmill kind of a thing or a sense of.

    00:09:53 Beth Murphy

    Responsibility here we can't possibly be responsible to resolve their situation or get them to a place of peace and without realizing it, we we kind of get into our own fix it mode our own control.

    00:10:07 Beth Murphy

    Whatever something some way in which we've slipped away from our own, relying on God and so.

    00:10:13 Beth Murphy

    Sure, those sorts of leading indicators are familiar to others as well, but what we want to do with that is set aside their situation and recognize weighment.

    00:10:23 Beth Murphy

    Wait, I'm I've done a thing here where I'm I've put myself in your role, Lord, I don't want to.

    00:10:28 Beth Murphy

    Be there 'cause this feels like this feels too weighty to me, so I'm handing you this burden.

    00:10:34 Beth Murphy

    I'm handing them too young and trusting them to you because you love them more than I could ever possibly imagine.

    00:10:40 Beth Murphy

    You loved him before I was around.

    00:10:42 Beth Murphy

    You are much more capable than I could ever be to redeem this situation and to do what you promised to do to use it.

    00:10:50 Beth Murphy

    For their good in your glory.

    00:10:51 John Murphy

    And of course, when we come in contact with someone that needs help and we're sort of on the scene that we're trying to do what the next step is, certainly it makes complete sense to be praying over them, and for them, absolutely.

    00:11:04 John Murphy

    The prayer that's going to be probably most helpful to them at the moment is going to be a prayer where you lead them through a prayer of bringing God into the context.

    00:11:11 John Murphy

    At the moment, and that's really one of the most effective things we're going to be able to do at the time is to.

    00:11:16 John Murphy

    Really, to show them the way to be able to access the peace that God has for them by leading them in a prayer so you could actually do a repeat after me prayer where you draw them into statements of declaring their absolute trust and commitment to God to roll the burden of whatever it is they're suffering on God.

    00:11:32 John Murphy

    And we'll have a prayer that will follow here in a minute and we'll give you some specifics.

    00:11:36 John Murphy

    Of how to actually say these things, but that's really where we're going to have the greatest impact is the degree to which we can help them draw God into the moment.

    00:11:45 John Murphy

    We also have situations where we may find that.

    00:11:49 John Murphy

    The person has some history of being resentful towards God, 'cause they've misread a situation.

    00:11:53 John Murphy

    They feel like God wasn't trustworthy and they have some resentment about that.

    00:11:57 John Murphy

    That's another thing that we can do is we can help them forgive any past offenses or things that may be holding against God and so therefore they've been unwilling to trust him or draw him in, and we certainly have situations where people that we've counseled have.

    00:12:10 John Murphy

    Had thoughts that God had not shown up when they thought he should have, and therefore they weren't willing to bring him into future struggles because they they felt like they didn't really know what was going to come of that and so they had some fear about it.

    00:12:22 Beth Murphy

    So that reminds me actually of a another past podcast that would be helpful in the context of.

    00:12:27 Beth Murphy

    This which is that God is not testing you because that we did that because of so many people who come to rockhaus Center for counseling with an epicenter of their suffering coming from wrong beliefs about God, where their trials came from, what was God's role in their suffering? There's so much to that that.

    00:12:47 Beth Murphy

    If if you are experiencing any of that or the person that you're trying to help and comfort, you recognize that they're doing that.

    00:12:55 Beth Murphy

    That that's also a really important one to listen to.

    00:12:58 Beth Murphy

    So the past two ones to listen to that relate to this is that God, not to.

    00:13:01 Beth Murphy

    Trusting you and that God is always just one thought away.

    00:13:05 Beth Murphy

    Those all build together into how you're going to be able to help yourself in crisis or someone else that you're trying to comfort in crisis.

    00:13:12 John Murphy

    Another aspect of this is asking God to cause our heart to trust God.

    00:13:17 John Murphy

    Sometimes it's very hard because of the situation from the horizon that we're looking at experiences we had that we have a hard time trusting God the way we need to to be able to have comfort.

    00:13:26 John Murphy

    So one of the things we can lead someone in is as part of that prayer is asking God for God to make.

    00:13:32 John Murphy

    Their heart trust.

    00:13:34 John Murphy

    That's another legitimate prayer.

    00:13:35 John Murphy

    I've prayed that prayer many times.

    00:13:36 John Murphy

    I think it's very helpful 'cause God will do that if we open a heart up to him and ask him to invade our heart and change our thinking and to cause us to trust him more.

    00:13:45 John Murphy

    That is a very legitimate prayer.

    00:13:48 John Murphy

    An aspect of this that I think is definitely worthwhile that some people might think is a little bit silly is asking God to give you your piece just outright just requesting peace.

    00:13:57 John Murphy

    I can remember a situation where I had a lot of anxiety about a certain kind of thing that was going on to have peace in the past, but this one moment I just suddenly had a lot of anxiety about something I'd had pieced about.

    00:14:07 John Murphy

    Four and I recognized that I had stopped trusting God about this situation, and the anxiety was really building in me.

    00:14:15 John Murphy

    So I prayed a prayer of asking God to forgive me for whatever it is that I had done to take back control or to not trust him.

    00:14:23 John Murphy

    I asked him to lift me up and put me back on the truth of what the scripture says about.

    00:14:27 John Murphy

    His character and how trustworthy he is.

    00:14:30 John Murphy

    And then after I did those two things, I just simply said God, would you please give me my piece back and you know it was forthcoming.

    00:14:36 John Murphy

    I don't think it's illegitimate at all to ask him for, but the thing that you want from him it's what he wants to.

    00:14:42 John Murphy

    Give you anyway.

    00:14:43 Beth Murphy

    Well, when you're praying along with what God has promised and what we know to be his will, you're in the safety zone.

    00:14:50 Beth Murphy

    It makes total sense to ask him what he's already promised to give you and wants to give you and is.

    00:14:56 Beth Murphy

    Declared to give you.

    00:14:57 John Murphy

    You're praying it consistent with his will, obviously.

    00:14:59 Beth Murphy

    So back in the context of these three questions that were raised, we're looking at the family members who are in the middle of a natural disaster, had one fearing another earthquake would come along, and so when you look at what the the person in that situation would commonly be experiencing, they probably feel alone and feel like they're.

    00:15:19 Beth Murphy

    Unknowns around the corner and they're looking to their own, strengthen their own resources.

    00:15:25 Beth Murphy

    To somehow prepare for that and to handle it.

    00:15:28 Beth Murphy

    That whole feeling of you know that I've got to somehow anticipate what are all the bad things that might happen and then get myself totally ready for it.

    00:15:36 Beth Murphy

    Will absolutely ZAP you of your strength and your emotional and spiritual energy because it can't be done.

    00:15:43 John Murphy

    And it breeds fear and anxiety 'cause The thing is bigger than you are, and so you need something that is bigger than it is.

    00:15:49 John Murphy

    If we're going to have peace, but otherwise we're not going to get there.

    00:15:51 Beth Murphy

    Right, and so you know, we've had situations where you really can look at the contrast and all right.

    00:15:57 Beth Murphy

    So you could just even take this hypothetical thing.

    00:15:59 Beth Murphy

    So two people that live next door to each other and both of them say.

    00:16:04 Beth Murphy

    They're in Kansas, and they have a tornado and both of their houses are blown down the way they experience something of that magnitude really depends completely on where they are with God.

    00:16:15 Beth Murphy

    If they feel like God is doing something to them or has.

    00:16:19 Beth Murphy

    Left them and they're despairing.

    00:16:21 Beth Murphy

    Then it's a terrible experience.

    00:16:22 Beth Murphy

    If they're trusting God, minute by minute, for where we're going to go from one step to the next to the next, then their experience of of that situation, which is pretty extreme.

    00:16:33 Beth Murphy

    Become something that ultimately can actually be a spiritual promotion that can actually end up being closer to God as a result of that really extreme situation that was totally unknown.

    00:16:46 Beth Murphy

    Didn't see it coming.

    00:16:47 Beth Murphy

    Hadn't planned on it, wasn't what they were going to script in their life, but it's all about getting to a place.

    00:16:53 Beth Murphy

    Being able to trust God.

    00:16:55 John Murphy

    And that's totally consistent with this promise is that he is going to redeem those things which were meant for evil.

    00:17:00 John Murphy

    He's going to redeem those things, so yes, it couldn't turn into a very significant spiritual promotion as the product or the fruit of the redemption is usually going to be a much closer connection.

    00:17:10 John Murphy

    We got in a greater sense of resiliency in all aspects of life.

    00:17:13 John Murphy

    So in the situation here, if there's this person who has someone who is in a natural disaster, the first thing they need to do is release that to the Lord.

    00:17:21 John Murphy

    That would be step one and then they may or may not actually be able to get to these people.

    00:17:25 John Murphy

    If they're in the natural disaster to lead them through a prayer, but certainly the prayer is, what do we do?

    00:17:30 John Murphy

    The prayer is is to ask the Lord to invade their thinking and.

    00:17:33 John Murphy

    To comfort them and to have them be stirred to call out and to trust him in the midst of it.

    00:17:39 John Murphy

    And then if actually have the opportunity to gain communication with them, is that you can lead them through a prayer.

    00:17:44 John Murphy

    Is it Lord?

    00:17:44 John Murphy

    I don't know what's coming with these shockwaves.

    00:17:46 John Murphy

    I don't know what's going to have.

    00:17:47 John Murphy

    The next, but I trust you with it.

    00:17:49 John Murphy

    I committed to you, I ask you to make my heart agree with your will so I know what it is that I'm supposed to be doing in this situation.

    00:17:56 John Murphy

    So that's an example of how it might play out and how you might provide some comfort to someone in a difficult situation.

    00:18:01 John Murphy

    Like that?

    00:18:02 Beth Murphy

    If you think about then a spouse with panic attacks, well, there can be all sorts of reasons for it, but underlying it all, there's probably going to be a fear of losing control.

    00:18:11 Beth Murphy

    Whole panic usually has to do with the sense of I've got to control this.

    00:18:15 Beth Murphy

    I don't know how to trust God, so it's up to me and I can see this looming threat where a certain thing might happen, or it might not go my way, or it might not play out the way that I think would be the best outcome.

    00:18:28 Beth Murphy

    And if I'm not trusting God that.

    00:18:31 Beth Murphy

    Can well up into something that is literally terrifying.

    00:18:34 Beth Murphy

    This fear of losing control and what life will be like if I lose my grip on trying to make things work out the way I think they've got to work out.

    00:18:42 John Murphy

    So that's a great example of someone who can be comforted and ministered to.

    00:18:47 John Murphy

    By leading them through a prayer of rolling whatever it is that they are afraid of, whatever it is they're processing about and rolling that burden upon the Lord, and ask the Lord to cause his heart to be agreed with his well, which it would be for him to trust God completely in the situation, and to have supernatural, resilient peace, no matter what it is.

    00:19:05 John Murphy

    But there is no way.

    00:19:07 John Murphy

    To stay in a place of control and try to operate in control and be free of anxiety and fear, we have to help people move down this pathway towards more and more trusting God in these cities.

    00:19:18 John Murphy

    And that's really the answer, and I can comfort them and I can bring them pillows and I can fix some hot tea.

    00:19:23 John Murphy

    And I can say whatever I want to say, but foundationally, there's nothing that I'm going to be able to say that's going to overcome or fix the problem that foundationally we need to get God into the context and cause them to engage in a deeper trust.

    00:19:35 John Murphy

    We've got.

    00:19:36 John Murphy

    That's how the real answer.

    00:19:37 John Murphy

    Is going to come forward.

    00:19:39 Beth Murphy

    So in the case of a child who's experienced a car accident and now is very fearful of getting into a car, there's.

    00:19:47 Beth Murphy

    A similar kind of thing going on, and that this sense of this feels out of control that felt bad to me.

    00:19:53 Beth Murphy

    I didn't see it coming and suddenly we were brought.

    00:19:56 Beth Murphy

    I did or rear ended whatever it was and.

    00:20:00 Beth Murphy

    Felt bad and that isn't fear inducing and so the child most of all needs to 1st see that their parents are not fearing a car accident.

    00:20:12 Beth Murphy

    They're not fearing life.

    00:20:13 Beth Murphy

    They're not walking around in anxiety or panic because they are demonstrating that they they believe and they know God.

    00:20:21 Beth Murphy

    Be trust, worry.

    00:20:22 Beth Murphy

    And really, the truth is, we're talking about trustworthy, even if there is another car accident 'cause we don't have any guarantees that someone else won't rear end us or whatever might happen.

    00:20:32 Beth Murphy

    That will cause a car accident. That's not the guarantee. The guarantee is that God's always just one thought away that he's always there, providing more of himself and.

    00:20:42 Beth Murphy

    More love protection, comfort using the circumstances.

    00:20:45 Beth Murphy

    Ultimately for our good and his glory, so simple affirmations to a child.

    00:20:52 Beth Murphy

    Of seeing the parent trust God and the parent verbally communicating that God's trustworthy no matter what is what's going to be the most foundationally important things for that child to have peace.

    00:21:03 John Murphy

    Yes, I mean basically there's so much fear here that this is what happens when people move into a place of dysfunction.

    00:21:09 John Murphy

    I mean, you can have so much fear you can't get in a car, then you have so much fear you can't get out of the house.

    00:21:13 John Murphy

    You have so much fear you can't get out of your bed, so obviously what you have is a tremendous amount of inability to function because we have to have faith and trust.

    00:21:22 John Murphy

    Additionally available to us.

    00:21:24 John Murphy

    Be functional and so in this situation you have a child who might be afraid of injury and maybe the pain of it might be afraid of death.

    00:21:32 John Murphy

    Might be afraid because they've been watching some movie that has shown you know some horrible outcome of someone having a car accident and that's what's lodged in their mind.

    00:21:40 John Murphy

    The foundational piece of this is going to be, as Beth was saying.

    00:21:44 John Murphy

    Number one the parents can demonstrate that they function and they trust, and they can see that the gods of their youth are trusting these things, and it's not all about one event that that doesn't determine the trustworthiness of just the functional thing.

    00:21:56 John Murphy

    Things in life, but there is obviously a much deeper piece here, which is that this child needs to know on a deeper and deeper level.

    00:22:04 John Murphy

    How much God loves them?

    00:22:06 John Murphy

    How trustworthy is that?

    00:22:08 John Murphy

    The child has been born into eternity and God is with him for eternity and there's nothing he can do to run God off.

    00:22:13 John Murphy

    If you know one of the reasons the child might be afraid of the car accidents because.

    00:22:17 John Murphy

    They are afraid of death.

    00:22:18 John Murphy

    They don't really understand that God is going to be there.

    00:22:20 John Murphy

    There's an answer for that.

    00:22:22 John Murphy

    There's so much around building a strong relationship in a child to be able to manage some of the kinds of fears of these things, which can become very.

    00:22:30 John Murphy

    Functional building this on understanding and a knowledge of who God is, his eternity, his commitments and promises.

    00:22:37 John Murphy

    To him the fact that everything that we encounter in this world can be rolled over and given to God, and that he will hold us together.

    00:22:43 John Murphy

    He will cause us to be resilient.

    00:22:45 John Murphy

    He'll cause us to be peaceful in the midst of it that foundational knowledge is going to be really critical.

    00:22:50 John Murphy

    For the child to get past any of these kinds of fears, which to us as adults, seem kind of irrational.

    00:22:57 Beth Murphy

    An important aspect of this, that particularly is true with a child, but really with anyone.

    00:23:02 Beth Murphy

    Especially with the child, though, is a lot of the comfort that goes on sort of off the topic, not when we're talking about the specific thing they have a fear, and in this case a car accident, but just living life and recognizing there are countless ways that their parents are trusting God.

    00:23:20 Beth Murphy

    And there are all kinds of things that are unknown.

    00:23:22 Beth Murphy

    There's a whole lot more than just what happens when you get in a car that's unknown.

    00:23:25 Beth Murphy

    I mean, we're trusting all kinds of things, really, irrationally.

    00:23:29 Beth Murphy

    You know we we trust when we go to the grocery store, there's going to be food there and same thing at the gas station or that the lights are going to come on when we flip the switch.

    00:23:38 Beth Murphy

    And we're not really processing about those things we want.

    00:23:41 Beth Murphy

    To communicate to a child and anyone else.

    00:23:45 Beth Murphy

    But it's certainly a child that God is trustworthy.

    00:23:49 Beth Murphy

    And he's even more trustworthy than all those mundane things in life that I just listed, and that we believe that to be true in every aspect of our life.

    00:23:58 Beth Murphy

    So there are opportunities just in expressing gratitude to God.

    00:24:02 Beth Murphy

    faith in God.

    00:24:04 Beth Murphy

    Things that are true about his character, his love, his nurture, examples from the past that come to mind to give him the glory for the things that he's done, the things that are building the faith muscle, the trust muscle in us and our child.

    00:24:20 Beth Murphy

    All of that affects the particular thing they happen to have.

    00:24:24 Beth Murphy

    Worry about and the opposite of course is true that if they're seeing ways in which their parents aren't trusting God or they're worrying and fearful on things other than the the car thing.

    00:24:37 Beth Murphy

    One way or another, we're communicating what we believe to be true about God and whether or not we think he is trustworthy by how we lead our lives in the small, day-to-day things.

    00:24:47 Beth Murphy

    And that's what the child and everybody else is absorbing about us.

    00:24:52 Beth Murphy

    That's what's coming to them as the message we're communicating.

    00:24:55 Beth Murphy

    So we want to look at.

    00:24:57 Beth Murphy

    Big picture, what are we believing and where are we living in our own peace?

    00:25:00 Beth Murphy

    And what are we communicating by what we say and do and how we express ourselves and what we?

    00:25:06 Beth Murphy

    Model to be what we believe to be.

    00:25:08 Beth Murphy

    True about God.

    00:25:09 John Murphy

    Yes, and also how we model what we do to seek comfort.

    00:25:13 John Murphy

    Those kinds of things that we go to.

    00:25:15 John Murphy

    And if I'm feeling a certain way, I go watch a movie or if I feel a certain way I go have a cookie.

    00:25:21 John Murphy

    If I feel in terms if I lose my peace if I'm if I'm needing to be comforted because of a bad situation, where am I going for a solution?

    00:25:29 John Murphy

    To the degree that parents can demonstrate that they go to God for comfort, then that is to ingrains within them that God is the answer to for comfort and it begins to build that expectation.

    00:25:39 John Murphy

    So just an interesting aspect of parenting and why it's so important for us are really as a model or as a testimony.

    00:25:48 John Murphy

    Any other person it's back to what we said earlier.

    00:25:51 John Murphy

    The degree to which we have peace in God and we see comfort in God and we demonstrate that.

    00:25:54 John Murphy

    And that's a part of our life.

    00:25:56 John Murphy

    Then that's going to be very powerful testimony to those people and help them gain their peace by going to God as well.

    00:26:02 John Murphy

    It's probably a good idea to move into a prayer we have put together a prayer here, which will allow folks who need to comfort others a prayer to walk someone through, and this doesn't have to be very specific.

    00:26:13 John Murphy

    There's no perfect way of doing this, but this just kind of hits the main concepts and the way in which we put this together.

    00:26:19 John Murphy

    And so if you have someone right now that comes to mind.

    00:26:22 John Murphy

    That needs comfort.

    00:26:23 John Murphy

    This is a prayer that you can pray to set yourself up for being able to help them, and then you can do a version of this to lead them through as well.

    00:26:32 John Murphy

    If you have the opportunity to actually lead someone through a prayer.

    00:26:35 John Murphy

    So let me just kind of get started here and just think of who it is that you are thinking about a burden that you are under and you're suffering because of the suffering and that person that you care very much for.

    00:26:46 John Murphy

    And you can just kind of fill their name in as we go through this prayer.

    00:26:50 John Murphy

    So Heavenly Father, I roll the burden of put their name in their their situation onto your shoulders.

    00:26:57 John Murphy

    I declare that it is your assurance and love they need above all things.

    00:27:03 John Murphy

    To have peace in the midst of their suffering.

    00:27:06 John Murphy

    Father, I also roll the responsibility of bringing peace.

    00:27:12 John Murphy

    To this person.

    00:27:14 John Murphy

    Upon your shoulders, I trust and commit them to you.

    00:27:19 John Murphy

    I ask that you make my heart.

    00:27:21 John Murphy

    Agreeable with your will.

    00:27:24 John Murphy

    So that I know how to encourage.

    00:27:27 John Murphy

    Them to trust you.

    00:27:30 John Murphy

    And you alone.

    00:27:31 John Murphy

    For peace in their situation.

    00:27:34 John Murphy

    Lord, please lead me.

    00:27:37 John Murphy

    In whatever way.

    00:27:40 John Murphy

    I need to bring them the reality of your love and your commitment.

    00:27:46 John Murphy

    Father, please reveal to me if there is any way.

    00:27:50 John Murphy

    In which I am trying to rescue them in my own strength.

    00:27:54 John Murphy

    So that I can fully release them to you.

    00:27:58 John Murphy

    I submit to your plan and your purpose.

    00:28:02 John Murphy

    To restore peace and redeem their suffering.

    00:28:06 John Murphy

    With supernatural, peace and more of your presence in their lives.

    00:28:12 John Murphy

    I pray these things.

    00:28:13 John Murphy

    The name of your son Jesus Amen.

    00:28:17 Beth Murphy

    That's our podcast for today.

    00:28:18 Beth Murphy

    Comfort in crisis.

    00:28:19 Beth Murphy

    Thank you for joining us.

    00:28:21 Beth Murphy

    Please do send in your ideas or questions topics that you would like covered in a podcast and know that we're always here at Rockhaus Center.

    00:28:30 Beth Murphy

    If you decide that you would like some counseling help or you have someone that you think could benefit.

    00:28:34 John Murphy

    Thanks so much for joining us today, goodbye.