Comfort in Crisis
29-Minute Episode
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Author’s Note
When loved ones are in crisis or respond to life circumstances with anxiety, fear or panic, the desire to comfort and alleviate their suffering presents challenges.
The first step to help them is strengthening yourself in the Lord, so you can provide “Comfort in Crisis” to others in the midst of their storm. Last week’s podcast, “God is Just One Thought Away” is the first in this 2-part series and lays the foundation for the deeper place of peace that you want to impart to others.
Today we’re responding to client-provided topics of a spouse with panic attacks, a child with anxiety from a car accident, and family members in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Each of these situations is too big for a person to bring lasting peace, but not beyond God’s ability to provide the peace that surpasses understanding.
Join us in the closing prayer to enable God’s peace to invade your heart and spill over for your loved ones.
We sincerely hope that these resources will be encouraging and edifying to you.
In His Rest,
John Murphy
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00:00:00 John Murphy
This is the Rock House Center podcast and I'm.
00:00:02 Beth Murphy
BethJohn Murphy and I'm Beth Murphy and our podcast today is called Comfort in Crisis.
00:00:06 Beth Murphy
It's actually the second part of a two part series that we began last week entitled God is always just one thought away.
00:00:15 Beth Murphy
This all came about as a result of questions that came in from listeners when we invited questions or topics.
00:00:21 Beth Murphy
Suggestions for podcasts?
00:00:23 Beth Murphy
It was a cluster of things that all fit into the same category where loved ones are experiencing worry, panic or fear.
00:00:31 Beth Murphy
And the person questioning us is looking at how do they comfort them?
00:00:36 Beth Murphy
How do they help them?
00:00:37 Beth Murphy
And so in one case it was parents and family members who live in a part of the world where they have earthquakes and they'd experienced one, and we're having the aftershocks of those earthquakes and we're having their own worry.
00:00:51 Beth Murphy
Fear panic about that.
00:00:53 Beth Murphy
And then one with a spouse that was having panic attack and a child who had been in a car accident and was very fearful about ever getting back in a car and resistant to getting back in a car.
00:01:04 Beth Murphy
So each of those situations is where the person is in the role of trying to comfort someone else about their difficult life situation.
00:01:13 Beth Murphy
And the thing with their ex.
00:01:14 Beth Murphy
Parenting in sort of a crisis.
00:01:16 Beth Murphy
Panic mode.
00:01:17 John Murphy
Yes, and so the situation of course, is that we want to work on the condition of our own heart.
00:01:22 John Murphy
The person is trying to bring help obviously is going to be more effective at that to the extent that they have peace themselves, and that's really what we talk about in the God is just one thought away.
00:01:31 John Murphy
Podcast is how do people bring God into the context of the moment and to have the peace that they need to have?
00:01:38 John Murphy
We have panic then we are only going to be able to offer panic in our role as a comforter, so it's really critical that we deal with that.
00:01:45 John Murphy
Another common belief is that if we just share a common struggle that that's a way to help someone through.
00:01:52 John Murphy
A situation, and that's not a bad thing in having community and being able to have empathy for someone because you've been through the same thing is obviously positive, but the most powerful thing that we can bring is the additional piece of and I have a testimony of how God resolved it, so we always want to bring in God as the ultimate answer.
00:02:10 John Murphy
I think that a shared experience.
00:02:12 John Murphy
Shows that we would have empathy in the in the person situation when that's possible, but the most critical piece is to be able to bring God as the ultimate answer, so having a testimony of how he is resolved at how he's redeemed a situation obviously puts us in a better position as well.
00:02:29 Beth Murphy
So the strength of testimony of the person in this role of trying to comfort is really important, so it starts with having their own peace about the situation, not being dragged into the worry, fear, panic that their loved ones are experiencing.
00:02:44 Beth Murphy
So if you look at this particular situation, each person is in a really pivotal.
00:02:49 Beth Murphy
On a roll, it's their parents and family members.
00:02:52 Beth Murphy
In the case of the earthquakes, it's their spouse who's having a panic attack.
00:02:57 Beth Murphy
And it's their child who's so worried about not getting back in a car because of a prior car accident, and so taking the child one particularly because children are so susceptible they're so responsive to a parent because of the role of a parent.
00:03:15 Beth Murphy
So when the parent is not dismissing their feelings.
00:03:18 Beth Murphy
But addressing their feelings and part of the way they address their feelings, is the reassurance and comfort of seeing that mom or dad.
00:03:26 Beth Murphy
Isn't themselves worried about getting in the car or having worry and fear about car accidents and then communicating that?
00:03:34 Beth Murphy
The reason is that whatever happens in a car, that God is faithful, God is going to get us through this.
00:03:39 Beth Murphy
He's going to take care of whatever situation comes, and that the the place of peace in life comes from.
00:03:46 Beth Murphy
Relying on God and of course it's the same thing for spouse and parents, but it's most evident with the.
00:03:52 Beth Murphy
Child and children again are most responsive and susceptible to whichever direction, whichever way a parent is living.
00:04:00 Beth Murphy
If the parent is living in panic, worry, or fear, than the child is going to as well, because it's been modeled to them that that's what their parent does.
00:04:08 Beth Murphy
So the God of their youth is resorting to panic or fear and the child.
00:04:12 Beth Murphy
Going to do the same thing, but if their parent, the person representing God to them, is able to be peaceful and model peace and model that got us trustworthy, then the child just absorbs that and lives in that place.
00:04:27 Beth Murphy
And then spouse and parents are going to be also positively affected by our testimony of our piece, and so that's why we started out with God is always just one thought away.
00:04:38 Beth Murphy
Last week it's because the importance of the person in the role of where they're trying to.
00:04:42 Beth Murphy
Is to get their own comfort from God directly with him as our comforter, so that they have something to pass on to the person that they're trying to help.
00:04:53 John Murphy
And of course, we're in the situation with them.
00:04:55 John Murphy
If we want to be loving them through it, we want to stay present in the situation.
00:04:59 John Murphy
Then we'd want to just make sure that we're always pointing to God as the answer.
00:05:04 John Murphy
If ever we find ourselves trying to rescue them or be the white knight in this situation, then we're taking on really a role that they'd need God to have to take on, because God is really going to have the answer because a lot of these situations, particularly some of the ones we mentioned.
00:05:19 John Murphy
Here these are bigger than we are.
00:05:21 John Murphy
They're not bigger than God is, but they're definitely bigger than we are.
00:05:24 John Murphy
We really don't have any way to solve these problems, and to the extent that we know that about ourselves and our own situations in life, then we can confidently communicate that the common thing of all suffering is that for really to have peace and to get to the other side of it.
00:05:38 John Murphy
That's going to come only from the degree that which we have relied on God.
00:05:42 John Murphy
So loving them through it staying present.
00:05:44 John Murphy
Certainly resolving are being available to satisfy any needs they have.
00:05:49 John Murphy
I mean if they are, you know someone was around a crisis of hunger or crisis of shelter or crisis.
00:05:53 John Murphy
Of drowning in a river.
00:05:55 John Murphy
You know you can throw them the lifejacket.
00:05:57 John Murphy
You're there.
00:05:58 John Murphy
We're not saying we ignore that ability to respond and comfort and beat a safety net.
00:06:02 John Murphy
For people, but the ultimate sense of peace about it, and the ultimate resolution and the ultimate sense of that, there is comfort in the future that God is with them that can really only come from God, and we do have the opportunity to help people bring God into the context of whatever their suffering is.
00:06:19 Beth Murphy
One of the things that deepens the problem is the lie that we're experiencing these things all alone, and it's all up to me, really can lead to despair and helplessness.
00:06:30 Beth Murphy
So there's a real positive aspect that the person is connecting with.
00:06:34 Beth Murphy
You to get some help and not stay in isolation, so that's good, but we want to recognize that we don't want to cross the line because their real peace again is going to come from recognizing that God is going to ultimately resolve this and bring them the comfort and the peace that they need.
00:06:51 Beth Murphy
So we want to celebrate that they're not staying in isolation.
00:06:55 Beth Murphy
And the importance of the relational component here.
00:06:58 Beth Murphy
But knowing that our real role is to facilitate their connection to God, facilitate their trust in God.
00:07:04 Beth Murphy
Bringing God into the the context of their distress, because that is ultimately where the true and lasting peace comes from.
00:07:12 John Murphy
Yeah, I think the big reminder is that God is on board and that's a perpetual declaration of God.
00:07:17 John Murphy
He says that we are the permanent dwelling place, no matter how it may feel he is present within each of us through the Holy Spirit.
00:07:26 John Murphy
Now we have through our control or through our fear or whatever.
00:07:30 John Murphy
We have the ability to kind of push him out of our consciousness.
00:07:33 John Murphy
And I think about him and I think he's available.
00:07:35 John Murphy
But one of the key things that we need to communicate if we're going to comfort somebody that no matter how it feels right now, God is on board.
00:07:42 John Murphy
God is one thought away.
00:07:44 John Murphy
He is available and if you need some more information about that or more of a sense of that, please do listen to the previous podcasts.
00:07:50 John Murphy
If God is just one thought away 'cause we really dig into all of the biblical truth that established.
00:07:55 Beth Murphy
Is that fact so the important?
00:07:57 Beth Murphy
Distinction here an aspect of what we're saying is that we want to recognize that we don't want to become an enabler for someone to not go to God.
00:08:05
Right?
00:08:05 Beth Murphy
We don't want to put ourselves in the God.
00:08:07 Beth Murphy
Role and then leave them with a dependency on us because at some point we're not going to be there.
00:08:14 Beth Murphy
We're going to make a mistake.
00:08:15 Beth Murphy
We're going to tell them the wrong thing.
00:08:16 Beth Murphy
We're going to disappoint them, and ultimately, we're not God, no matter what.
00:08:20 Beth Murphy
A good job we can do, and befriending them, helping them comforting them.
00:08:25 Beth Murphy
We've not done them any favors.
00:08:27 Beth Murphy
If we step between them and their ability to trust God, now we're just enabling them ultimately, to stay in a place of.
00:08:35 Beth Murphy
Of fear, despair, helplessness when the next crisis comes along and the next challenge or trial comes along.
00:08:41 Beth Murphy
So we just want to recognize the importance of befriending them, loving them, directing and comforting them.
00:08:49 Beth Murphy
But knowing that the bottom line here is, we want to direct them to God through our own connection with God.
00:08:55 Beth Murphy
And our own ability to tell.
00:08:56 Beth Murphy
Testify to his faithfulness, his love, his comfort, and him ultimately being the answer.
00:09:02 John Murphy
I think the one thing that really helps there is just praying to roll the burden of the person situation onto God shoulders and to make sure that we leave it there.
00:09:11 John Murphy
That's just a really important piece as we want to come in and we want to help and we want that to be the answer we want to comfort this person that we obviously care tremendous amount about.
00:09:21 John Murphy
But when we let go of the burden of doing the thing that only God can do, we'll have the clarity to be able to be led by God to do whatever our role is in the moment and to and to bring him in in whatever way that we can.
00:09:33 John Murphy
That's helpful to the person who is struggling at the time.
00:09:36 Beth Murphy
So a leading indicator for me if I've begun to take on someone else's burden is that I'm laying awake at night, processing through it, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to solve it for them or.
00:09:47 Beth Murphy
Anything that goes on our own little worry treadmill kind of a thing or a sense of.
00:09:53 Beth Murphy
Responsibility here we can't possibly be responsible to resolve their situation or get them to a place of peace and without realizing it, we we kind of get into our own fix it mode our own control.
00:10:07 Beth Murphy
Whatever something some way in which we've slipped away from our own, relying on God and so.
00:10:13 Beth Murphy
Sure, those sorts of leading indicators are familiar to others as well, but what we want to do with that is set aside their situation and recognize weighment.
00:10:23 Beth Murphy
Wait, I'm I've done a thing here where I'm I've put myself in your role, Lord, I don't want to.
00:10:28 Beth Murphy
Be there 'cause this feels like this feels too weighty to me, so I'm handing you this burden.
00:10:34 Beth Murphy
I'm handing them too young and trusting them to you because you love them more than I could ever possibly imagine.
00:10:40 Beth Murphy
You loved him before I was around.
00:10:42 Beth Murphy
You are much more capable than I could ever be to redeem this situation and to do what you promised to do to use it.
00:10:50 Beth Murphy
For their good in your glory.
00:10:51 John Murphy
And of course, when we come in contact with someone that needs help and we're sort of on the scene that we're trying to do what the next step is, certainly it makes complete sense to be praying over them, and for them, absolutely.
00:11:04 John Murphy
The prayer that's going to be probably most helpful to them at the moment is going to be a prayer where you lead them through a prayer of bringing God into the context.
00:11:11 John Murphy
At the moment, and that's really one of the most effective things we're going to be able to do at the time is to.
00:11:16 John Murphy
Really, to show them the way to be able to access the peace that God has for them by leading them in a prayer so you could actually do a repeat after me prayer where you draw them into statements of declaring their absolute trust and commitment to God to roll the burden of whatever it is they're suffering on God.
00:11:32 John Murphy
And we'll have a prayer that will follow here in a minute and we'll give you some specifics.
00:11:36 John Murphy
Of how to actually say these things, but that's really where we're going to have the greatest impact is the degree to which we can help them draw God into the moment.
00:11:45 John Murphy
We also have situations where we may find that.
00:11:49 John Murphy
The person has some history of being resentful towards God, 'cause they've misread a situation.
00:11:53 John Murphy
They feel like God wasn't trustworthy and they have some resentment about that.
00:11:57 John Murphy
That's another thing that we can do is we can help them forgive any past offenses or things that may be holding against God and so therefore they've been unwilling to trust him or draw him in, and we certainly have situations where people that we've counseled have.
00:12:10 John Murphy
Had thoughts that God had not shown up when they thought he should have, and therefore they weren't willing to bring him into future struggles because they they felt like they didn't really know what was going to come of that and so they had some fear about it.
00:12:22 Beth Murphy
So that reminds me actually of a another past podcast that would be helpful in the context of.
00:12:27 Beth Murphy
This which is that God is not testing you because that we did that because of so many people who come to rockhaus Center for counseling with an epicenter of their suffering coming from wrong beliefs about God, where their trials came from, what was God's role in their suffering? There's so much to that that.
00:12:47 Beth Murphy
If if you are experiencing any of that or the person that you're trying to help and comfort, you recognize that they're doing that.
00:12:55 Beth Murphy
That that's also a really important one to listen to.
00:12:58 Beth Murphy
So the past two ones to listen to that relate to this is that God, not to.
00:13:01 Beth Murphy
Trusting you and that God is always just one thought away.
00:13:05 Beth Murphy
Those all build together into how you're going to be able to help yourself in crisis or someone else that you're trying to comfort in crisis.
00:13:12 John Murphy
Another aspect of this is asking God to cause our heart to trust God.
00:13:17 John Murphy
Sometimes it's very hard because of the situation from the horizon that we're looking at experiences we had that we have a hard time trusting God the way we need to to be able to have comfort.
00:13:26 John Murphy
So one of the things we can lead someone in is as part of that prayer is asking God for God to make.
00:13:32 John Murphy
Their heart trust.
00:13:34 John Murphy
That's another legitimate prayer.
00:13:35 John Murphy
I've prayed that prayer many times.
00:13:36 John Murphy
I think it's very helpful 'cause God will do that if we open a heart up to him and ask him to invade our heart and change our thinking and to cause us to trust him more.
00:13:45 John Murphy
That is a very legitimate prayer.
00:13:48 John Murphy
An aspect of this that I think is definitely worthwhile that some people might think is a little bit silly is asking God to give you your piece just outright just requesting peace.
00:13:57 John Murphy
I can remember a situation where I had a lot of anxiety about a certain kind of thing that was going on to have peace in the past, but this one moment I just suddenly had a lot of anxiety about something I'd had pieced about.
00:14:07 John Murphy
Four and I recognized that I had stopped trusting God about this situation, and the anxiety was really building in me.
00:14:15 John Murphy
So I prayed a prayer of asking God to forgive me for whatever it is that I had done to take back control or to not trust him.
00:14:23 John Murphy
I asked him to lift me up and put me back on the truth of what the scripture says about.
00:14:27 John Murphy
His character and how trustworthy he is.
00:14:30 John Murphy
And then after I did those two things, I just simply said God, would you please give me my piece back and you know it was forthcoming.
00:14:36 John Murphy
I don't think it's illegitimate at all to ask him for, but the thing that you want from him it's what he wants to.
00:14:42 John Murphy
Give you anyway.
00:14:43 Beth Murphy
Well, when you're praying along with what God has promised and what we know to be his will, you're in the safety zone.
00:14:50 Beth Murphy
It makes total sense to ask him what he's already promised to give you and wants to give you and is.
00:14:56 Beth Murphy
Declared to give you.
00:14:57 John Murphy
You're praying it consistent with his will, obviously.
00:14:59 Beth Murphy
So back in the context of these three questions that were raised, we're looking at the family members who are in the middle of a natural disaster, had one fearing another earthquake would come along, and so when you look at what the the person in that situation would commonly be experiencing, they probably feel alone and feel like they're.
00:15:19 Beth Murphy
Unknowns around the corner and they're looking to their own, strengthen their own resources.
00:15:25 Beth Murphy
To somehow prepare for that and to handle it.
00:15:28 Beth Murphy
That whole feeling of you know that I've got to somehow anticipate what are all the bad things that might happen and then get myself totally ready for it.
00:15:36 Beth Murphy
Will absolutely ZAP you of your strength and your emotional and spiritual energy because it can't be done.
00:15:43 John Murphy
And it breeds fear and anxiety 'cause The thing is bigger than you are, and so you need something that is bigger than it is.
00:15:49 John Murphy
If we're going to have peace, but otherwise we're not going to get there.
00:15:51 Beth Murphy
Right, and so you know, we've had situations where you really can look at the contrast and all right.
00:15:57 Beth Murphy
So you could just even take this hypothetical thing.
00:15:59 Beth Murphy
So two people that live next door to each other and both of them say.
00:16:04 Beth Murphy
They're in Kansas, and they have a tornado and both of their houses are blown down the way they experience something of that magnitude really depends completely on where they are with God.
00:16:15 Beth Murphy
If they feel like God is doing something to them or has.
00:16:19 Beth Murphy
Left them and they're despairing.
00:16:21 Beth Murphy
Then it's a terrible experience.
00:16:22 Beth Murphy
If they're trusting God, minute by minute, for where we're going to go from one step to the next to the next, then their experience of of that situation, which is pretty extreme.
00:16:33 Beth Murphy
Become something that ultimately can actually be a spiritual promotion that can actually end up being closer to God as a result of that really extreme situation that was totally unknown.
00:16:46 Beth Murphy
Didn't see it coming.
00:16:47 Beth Murphy
Hadn't planned on it, wasn't what they were going to script in their life, but it's all about getting to a place.
00:16:53 Beth Murphy
Being able to trust God.
00:16:55 John Murphy
And that's totally consistent with this promise is that he is going to redeem those things which were meant for evil.
00:17:00 John Murphy
He's going to redeem those things, so yes, it couldn't turn into a very significant spiritual promotion as the product or the fruit of the redemption is usually going to be a much closer connection.
00:17:10 John Murphy
We got in a greater sense of resiliency in all aspects of life.
00:17:13 John Murphy
So in the situation here, if there's this person who has someone who is in a natural disaster, the first thing they need to do is release that to the Lord.
00:17:21 John Murphy
That would be step one and then they may or may not actually be able to get to these people.
00:17:25 John Murphy
If they're in the natural disaster to lead them through a prayer, but certainly the prayer is, what do we do?
00:17:30 John Murphy
The prayer is is to ask the Lord to invade their thinking and.
00:17:33 John Murphy
To comfort them and to have them be stirred to call out and to trust him in the midst of it.
00:17:39 John Murphy
And then if actually have the opportunity to gain communication with them, is that you can lead them through a prayer.
00:17:44 John Murphy
Is it Lord?
00:17:44 John Murphy
I don't know what's coming with these shockwaves.
00:17:46 John Murphy
I don't know what's going to have.
00:17:47 John Murphy
The next, but I trust you with it.
00:17:49 John Murphy
I committed to you, I ask you to make my heart agree with your will so I know what it is that I'm supposed to be doing in this situation.
00:17:56 John Murphy
So that's an example of how it might play out and how you might provide some comfort to someone in a difficult situation.
00:18:01 John Murphy
Like that?
00:18:02 Beth Murphy
If you think about then a spouse with panic attacks, well, there can be all sorts of reasons for it, but underlying it all, there's probably going to be a fear of losing control.
00:18:11 Beth Murphy
Whole panic usually has to do with the sense of I've got to control this.
00:18:15 Beth Murphy
I don't know how to trust God, so it's up to me and I can see this looming threat where a certain thing might happen, or it might not go my way, or it might not play out the way that I think would be the best outcome.
00:18:28 Beth Murphy
And if I'm not trusting God that.
00:18:31 Beth Murphy
Can well up into something that is literally terrifying.
00:18:34 Beth Murphy
This fear of losing control and what life will be like if I lose my grip on trying to make things work out the way I think they've got to work out.
00:18:42 John Murphy
So that's a great example of someone who can be comforted and ministered to.
00:18:47 John Murphy
By leading them through a prayer of rolling whatever it is that they are afraid of, whatever it is they're processing about and rolling that burden upon the Lord, and ask the Lord to cause his heart to be agreed with his well, which it would be for him to trust God completely in the situation, and to have supernatural, resilient peace, no matter what it is.
00:19:05 John Murphy
But there is no way.
00:19:07 John Murphy
To stay in a place of control and try to operate in control and be free of anxiety and fear, we have to help people move down this pathway towards more and more trusting God in these cities.
00:19:18 John Murphy
And that's really the answer, and I can comfort them and I can bring them pillows and I can fix some hot tea.
00:19:23 John Murphy
And I can say whatever I want to say, but foundationally, there's nothing that I'm going to be able to say that's going to overcome or fix the problem that foundationally we need to get God into the context and cause them to engage in a deeper trust.
00:19:35 John Murphy
We've got.
00:19:36 John Murphy
That's how the real answer.
00:19:37 John Murphy
Is going to come forward.
00:19:39 Beth Murphy
So in the case of a child who's experienced a car accident and now is very fearful of getting into a car, there's.
00:19:47 Beth Murphy
A similar kind of thing going on, and that this sense of this feels out of control that felt bad to me.
00:19:53 Beth Murphy
I didn't see it coming and suddenly we were brought.
00:19:56 Beth Murphy
I did or rear ended whatever it was and.
00:20:00 Beth Murphy
Felt bad and that isn't fear inducing and so the child most of all needs to 1st see that their parents are not fearing a car accident.
00:20:12 Beth Murphy
They're not fearing life.
00:20:13 Beth Murphy
They're not walking around in anxiety or panic because they are demonstrating that they they believe and they know God.
00:20:21 Beth Murphy
Be trust, worry.
00:20:22 Beth Murphy
And really, the truth is, we're talking about trustworthy, even if there is another car accident 'cause we don't have any guarantees that someone else won't rear end us or whatever might happen.
00:20:32 Beth Murphy
That will cause a car accident. That's not the guarantee. The guarantee is that God's always just one thought away that he's always there, providing more of himself and.
00:20:42 Beth Murphy
More love protection, comfort using the circumstances.
00:20:45 Beth Murphy
Ultimately for our good and his glory, so simple affirmations to a child.
00:20:52 Beth Murphy
Of seeing the parent trust God and the parent verbally communicating that God's trustworthy no matter what is what's going to be the most foundationally important things for that child to have peace.
00:21:03 John Murphy
Yes, I mean basically there's so much fear here that this is what happens when people move into a place of dysfunction.
00:21:09 John Murphy
I mean, you can have so much fear you can't get in a car, then you have so much fear you can't get out of the house.
00:21:13 John Murphy
You have so much fear you can't get out of your bed, so obviously what you have is a tremendous amount of inability to function because we have to have faith and trust.
00:21:22 John Murphy
Additionally available to us.
00:21:24 John Murphy
Be functional and so in this situation you have a child who might be afraid of injury and maybe the pain of it might be afraid of death.
00:21:32 John Murphy
Might be afraid because they've been watching some movie that has shown you know some horrible outcome of someone having a car accident and that's what's lodged in their mind.
00:21:40 John Murphy
The foundational piece of this is going to be, as Beth was saying.
00:21:44 John Murphy
Number one the parents can demonstrate that they function and they trust, and they can see that the gods of their youth are trusting these things, and it's not all about one event that that doesn't determine the trustworthiness of just the functional thing.
00:21:56 John Murphy
Things in life, but there is obviously a much deeper piece here, which is that this child needs to know on a deeper and deeper level.
00:22:04 John Murphy
How much God loves them?
00:22:06 John Murphy
How trustworthy is that?
00:22:08 John Murphy
The child has been born into eternity and God is with him for eternity and there's nothing he can do to run God off.
00:22:13 John Murphy
If you know one of the reasons the child might be afraid of the car accidents because.
00:22:17 John Murphy
They are afraid of death.
00:22:18 John Murphy
They don't really understand that God is going to be there.
00:22:20 John Murphy
There's an answer for that.
00:22:22 John Murphy
There's so much around building a strong relationship in a child to be able to manage some of the kinds of fears of these things, which can become very.
00:22:30 John Murphy
Functional building this on understanding and a knowledge of who God is, his eternity, his commitments and promises.
00:22:37 John Murphy
To him the fact that everything that we encounter in this world can be rolled over and given to God, and that he will hold us together.
00:22:43 John Murphy
He will cause us to be resilient.
00:22:45 John Murphy
He'll cause us to be peaceful in the midst of it that foundational knowledge is going to be really critical.
00:22:50 John Murphy
For the child to get past any of these kinds of fears, which to us as adults, seem kind of irrational.
00:22:57 Beth Murphy
An important aspect of this, that particularly is true with a child, but really with anyone.
00:23:02 Beth Murphy
Especially with the child, though, is a lot of the comfort that goes on sort of off the topic, not when we're talking about the specific thing they have a fear, and in this case a car accident, but just living life and recognizing there are countless ways that their parents are trusting God.
00:23:20 Beth Murphy
And there are all kinds of things that are unknown.
00:23:22 Beth Murphy
There's a whole lot more than just what happens when you get in a car that's unknown.
00:23:25 Beth Murphy
I mean, we're trusting all kinds of things, really, irrationally.
00:23:29 Beth Murphy
You know we we trust when we go to the grocery store, there's going to be food there and same thing at the gas station or that the lights are going to come on when we flip the switch.
00:23:38 Beth Murphy
And we're not really processing about those things we want.
00:23:41 Beth Murphy
To communicate to a child and anyone else.
00:23:45 Beth Murphy
But it's certainly a child that God is trustworthy.
00:23:49 Beth Murphy
And he's even more trustworthy than all those mundane things in life that I just listed, and that we believe that to be true in every aspect of our life.
00:23:58 Beth Murphy
So there are opportunities just in expressing gratitude to God.
00:24:02 Beth Murphy
faith in God.
00:24:04 Beth Murphy
Things that are true about his character, his love, his nurture, examples from the past that come to mind to give him the glory for the things that he's done, the things that are building the faith muscle, the trust muscle in us and our child.
00:24:20 Beth Murphy
All of that affects the particular thing they happen to have.
00:24:24 Beth Murphy
Worry about and the opposite of course is true that if they're seeing ways in which their parents aren't trusting God or they're worrying and fearful on things other than the the car thing.
00:24:37 Beth Murphy
One way or another, we're communicating what we believe to be true about God and whether or not we think he is trustworthy by how we lead our lives in the small, day-to-day things.
00:24:47 Beth Murphy
And that's what the child and everybody else is absorbing about us.
00:24:52 Beth Murphy
That's what's coming to them as the message we're communicating.
00:24:55 Beth Murphy
So we want to look at.
00:24:57 Beth Murphy
Big picture, what are we believing and where are we living in our own peace?
00:25:00 Beth Murphy
And what are we communicating by what we say and do and how we express ourselves and what we?
00:25:06 Beth Murphy
Model to be what we believe to be.
00:25:08 Beth Murphy
True about God.
00:25:09 John Murphy
Yes, and also how we model what we do to seek comfort.
00:25:13 John Murphy
Those kinds of things that we go to.
00:25:15 John Murphy
And if I'm feeling a certain way, I go watch a movie or if I feel a certain way I go have a cookie.
00:25:21 John Murphy
If I feel in terms if I lose my peace if I'm if I'm needing to be comforted because of a bad situation, where am I going for a solution?
00:25:29 John Murphy
To the degree that parents can demonstrate that they go to God for comfort, then that is to ingrains within them that God is the answer to for comfort and it begins to build that expectation.
00:25:39 John Murphy
So just an interesting aspect of parenting and why it's so important for us are really as a model or as a testimony.
00:25:48 John Murphy
Any other person it's back to what we said earlier.
00:25:51 John Murphy
The degree to which we have peace in God and we see comfort in God and we demonstrate that.
00:25:54 John Murphy
And that's a part of our life.
00:25:56 John Murphy
Then that's going to be very powerful testimony to those people and help them gain their peace by going to God as well.
00:26:02 John Murphy
It's probably a good idea to move into a prayer we have put together a prayer here, which will allow folks who need to comfort others a prayer to walk someone through, and this doesn't have to be very specific.
00:26:13 John Murphy
There's no perfect way of doing this, but this just kind of hits the main concepts and the way in which we put this together.
00:26:19 John Murphy
And so if you have someone right now that comes to mind.
00:26:22 John Murphy
That needs comfort.
00:26:23 John Murphy
This is a prayer that you can pray to set yourself up for being able to help them, and then you can do a version of this to lead them through as well.
00:26:32 John Murphy
If you have the opportunity to actually lead someone through a prayer.
00:26:35 John Murphy
So let me just kind of get started here and just think of who it is that you are thinking about a burden that you are under and you're suffering because of the suffering and that person that you care very much for.
00:26:46 John Murphy
And you can just kind of fill their name in as we go through this prayer.
00:26:50 John Murphy
So Heavenly Father, I roll the burden of put their name in their their situation onto your shoulders.
00:26:57 John Murphy
I declare that it is your assurance and love they need above all things.
00:27:03 John Murphy
To have peace in the midst of their suffering.
00:27:06 John Murphy
Father, I also roll the responsibility of bringing peace.
00:27:12 John Murphy
To this person.
00:27:14 John Murphy
Upon your shoulders, I trust and commit them to you.
00:27:19 John Murphy
I ask that you make my heart.
00:27:21 John Murphy
Agreeable with your will.
00:27:24 John Murphy
So that I know how to encourage.
00:27:27 John Murphy
Them to trust you.
00:27:30 John Murphy
And you alone.
00:27:31 John Murphy
For peace in their situation.
00:27:34 John Murphy
Lord, please lead me.
00:27:37 John Murphy
In whatever way.
00:27:40 John Murphy
I need to bring them the reality of your love and your commitment.
00:27:46 John Murphy
Father, please reveal to me if there is any way.
00:27:50 John Murphy
In which I am trying to rescue them in my own strength.
00:27:54 John Murphy
So that I can fully release them to you.
00:27:58 John Murphy
I submit to your plan and your purpose.
00:28:02 John Murphy
To restore peace and redeem their suffering.
00:28:06 John Murphy
With supernatural, peace and more of your presence in their lives.
00:28:12 John Murphy
I pray these things.
00:28:13 John Murphy
The name of your son Jesus Amen.
00:28:17 Beth Murphy
That's our podcast for today.
00:28:18 Beth Murphy
Comfort in crisis.
00:28:19 Beth Murphy
Thank you for joining us.
00:28:21 Beth Murphy
Please do send in your ideas or questions topics that you would like covered in a podcast and know that we're always here at Rockhaus Center.
00:28:30 Beth Murphy
If you decide that you would like some counseling help or you have someone that you think could benefit.
00:28:34 John Murphy
Thanks so much for joining us today, goodbye.